Some of us are missing an opportunity for joy in marriage—to rejoice with our spouses. I often see married people choosing the opposite. I see spouses responding to their spouse’s excitement with eyerolls, disinterest, or outright contempt. Some spouses can be killjoys. And the thing...
I have learned a lot about being open and honest in marriage from my friends Payden and Lane. In addition to raising two young boys, Payden and Lane own and personally run a gym. Payden said she used to get so frustrated with how often...
For years, researchers didn’t study happy couples. They studied stuck and struggling marriages with the hopes of helping couples avoid the hurdles or habits that lead to an unhappy partnership. These social scientists believed that by better understanding struggling marriages, they could help couples develop...
“Your marital habits either lead to the connection or the disconnection of your relationship.” How does that sentence sit with you? For many of us, it leaves us feeling discouraged. We have other habits we have tried to change and have been unsuccessful. Think about your...
Fun doesn’t require perfection. Fun requires participation. For Nancie and me, once all our kids were in school, Friday mornings became the best time for us to have a date. We love Friday mornings. We typically take a couple of hours to work out together...
I remember standing in the aisle of my local Barnes & Noble looking at rows and rows of marriage books. There were too many books to count on the topic. So I decided to do what I thought was best—I wrote another one. Clearly, one...
You may have more power to help your marriage than you think. One of my pet peeves is reading a marriage book where all the applications begin with, “As a couple you need to...
Sociologist Linda Waite from the University of Chicago did a study of 5232 married adults from a national database. Among them, 64% of those who said they were unhappy but stayed together reported they were happy five years later, while 50% of those who divorced...
If someone had asked you before you got married if you wanted your future spouse to be fun, what would you have said? For most of us, the quick answer would have been “Yes!” For Nancie and me, it would have been a big “YES!” And...
What does it take to have a great marriage? For almost every couple, an unexpected moment of laughter, gentleness, respect, affirmation, and/or sexual connection can trigger a great day for your marriage, even in seasons of facing the toughest of situations. And we can choose...